Monday, September 17, 2012

Illness and Shame

I've come to love the Biblical book of Job and I re-read it often. Job experienced a great deal of loss and suffering, including a painful medical condition   The Bible tells us that Job was "blameless and upright," but his friends believed (and expressed their belief) that those who live godly lives are protected from harm and that Job's struggles were therefore related to personal sin.

This week I noticed a verse I had never really focused on before. In Job 10:15, Job says, "If I am guilty—woe to me! Even if I am innocent, I cannot lift my head, for I am full of shame and drowned in my affliction." 

Full of shame -- it's an illogical but common emotion among the chronically ill. There are a number of reasons for this, including the following:

  • Pride is deep-rooted in the human psyche. Pride says, "I am capable and I don't need help from anyone."  Illness says, "You aren't as strong as you think you are or that you'd like to be."

  • The American culture has traditionally emphasized self-reliance and hard work. Stories of self-made men and women who pulled themselves up by their bootstraps are a part of our heritage and national character. Cultures define success in different ways. There are societies that value those who live their lives in solitude and contemplation. Ours puts a high value on tangible, material gains achieved through blood, sweat and tears. When illness keeps us from living up to our culture's standards, the sense of failure can be deep.

  • The self-determinism that defines our world fuels an unspoken message that all sickness can be overcome and that failure to do so is a personal deficiency. This message is communicated in many ways. Get-well cards are a prime example. I'm sure that the messages people are trying to communicate when they send the cards include things like “I care about you," "I'm sorry you're ill," and "I hope you don't suffer much."  That's not what the cards usually actually say, though. They say "Get well."  That's an imperative -- an order. They seem to imply that healing is within your control and that if you don't get well soon it is somehow your fault.

  • The Christian community can take that idea, magnify it exponentially, and attach spiritual significance to it. Some churches and denominations are very open about their theology that full earthly healing of all diseases is available to anyone who requests it and has enough faith. Some churches don't claim to believe that, but church members can manage to communicate that message anyway. Any ill Christian who ever listens to Christian radio, watches Christian television or webcasts, or communicates with other Christians online gets this message. Believe me, we get this message and it affects us deeply.

Condemning those who are ill certainly doesn't help ease the suffering. It compounds it and makes people afraid to express their needs. Job 42 tells us that God was angry with Job's friends and called their words and attitudes "folly."  Let's try not to imitate them.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Martha! This is so true! I, too, have heard comments like, "If you had enough faith, you wouldn't have to deal with this illness." People saying things like that have no idea how much faith it takes just to get through the day. God always sees the bigger picture. He chose not to heal Paul for a reason. Healing on this earth would be wonderful, but it is enough just to know that he is beside us and helping us each moment of the day. Perhaps our encouragement, while in the midst of the trial, is exactly what someone else needs!

Martha McLaughlin said...

The "roll call of faith" in Hebrews 11 talks about people who conquered kingdoms and shut the mouths of lions and others who were tortured, destitute, and mistreated. The scripture specifically says that they were ALL commended for their faith. As much as I would love for there to be a one-to-one correspondence between faith and an easy life on earth, that just isn't what the Bible teaches. I'm so thankful that this life isn't all there is!

Anonymous said...

Amen--SO thankful that this life is not all there is!!! This blog post (Illness & Shame) is SO good!! Thank you!!

DebraSY said...

"Some churches and denominations are very open about their theology that full earthly healing of all diseases is available to anyone who requests it and has enough faith. Some churches don't claim to believe that, but church members can manage to communicate that message anyway. Any ill Christian who ever listens to Christian radio, watches Christian television or webcasts, or communicates with other Christians online gets this message."

Grrr. I think it is the responsibility of the Church to encourage members to develop their own theodicies -- to struggle individually to reconcile God's love and the existence of suffering. And we should share our theodicies, grow from one another. That is part of Christian community. The Bible has many ways to look at this issue. Doctoral Dissertations abound on the topic. How dare any lone church, denomination or individual treat suffering and illness as a closed matter! At the risk of committing irony, I think that shows a lack of humility. It's definitely a twisted misreading of Holy Spirit.

But I may be giving people too much credit. In reality, and I speak here in the privacy of a blog, I think this kind of theology is simply lazy. People want an easy out. They don't want to think that God may be calling them to comfort the suffering, or be the presence of God for those who suffer. Or journey in any way with those who suffer. Why, that's work. They want to be able to say a prayer and wash their hands, and if the suffering continues, well, must be God's will or the sufferer's own fault. Grrrrrr. Bad theology, if you ask me.

Martha McLaughlin said...

I think a lot of illness theology springs from a simple desire for control and a wish to avoid suffering. People want to believe they won't ever have to suffer, so it's easy to go from there to "I can control my life and avoid pain if I have enough faith." The corollary to that is "anyone who doesn't avoid suffering doesn't have enough faith or is doing something wrong." I’m not sure people are even consciously aware they believe that sometimes.