Monday, May 22, 2017

A Psalm of Lament

I've tried to hold the world for countless years
Assume its pain and take its blows
Punched, bruised, knocked face down
I spit out rocks and teeth
Mud caked and bleeding, I crawl back to you, my God

You ask much
From your servants
You ask much
I've been faithful
Pouring myself out
Until only drops remain

Isn't enough enough?
Hasn't the time arrived for healing and relief?
I wait
I wait
I wait

I wait my turn as those who've never tasted suffering skip around me
They glance my direction, fling accusations
Then dart away

Vindicate your child, my Lord
Vindicate and heal
Pull me from the dirt into your lap
Let me rest there as you set the world in order

I cannot hold the world
Not even my own
My hands are far too small
Teach me what to hold and what to free
Help me be faithful in a world that's just too big
A world that, like a child in pain, fights back

You, oh Mighty Creator, dwarf the world you made
Your majesty envelops and overwhelms
You hold it all
Nothing will slip away

You hold me and I am secure
You encourage and teach
Comfort and restore
You see the blows, wash my wounds, and share my tears

The waiting will one day be forgotten
You will set the world in order
You will vindicate and heal

Until that day
I will always crawl back to you

-MM

10 comments:

Ms.Teree said...

" You hold me and I am secure
You encourage and teach
Comfort and restore
You see the blows, wash my wounds, and share my tears"

wow

Zona

Martha McLaughlin said...

Recently, the idea of God weeping with me, as Jesus wept with Mary and Martha after the death of Lazarus, has been very comforting.

Christa Upton said...

This is fantastic, Martha. Really touched my heart. How great your faith is. Beautiful. <3

Martha McLaughlin said...

Thanks, Christa. It's a bit more raw than what I usually share, but it helps me to read other people's honest thoughts, so after praying about it, I decided that maybe it was my turn to be the vulnerable one.

Deb Peabody said...

My soul is undone by how beautifully you expressed this.
I heard Michael Card once talk about how we as believers need to learn lament. You my friend have.

Martha McLaughlin said...

Thanks, Deb. It's a little scary to lament publicly, but I do think that by sharing our thoughts and feelings we can help each other express the things that are hard to put into words. Often, when I find a song or poem that expresses how I feel, I read or listen to it over and over again.

Merry said...

amen

Pam Shearer said...

I am in tears as I read your psalm. Tears for you, for my husband who suffers from an awful autoimmune disease, for others close to me who seem to get knocked down over and over again. And tears for my own pain. Thank you for voicing such intimate thoughts.

Martha McLaughlin said...

I hope they were cathartic tears, Pam. I do find that tears can be healing. I'm sorry for the pain you and your loved ones have experienced.

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